How To Take The Pain Out Of Dating – Starting Out

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Dating can be great and dating can be awful! Finding the “right” partner can be like finding a needle in the haystack – but worth the search. If men and women would follow the golden rule of “do unto others as you want them to do unto you”, everyone would be much better off.  Since this is not always the case, follow these tips to make your dates are as successful as possible.

Dating is simple, it is about two people coming together to get to know one another and find out whether they are compatible and have chemistry.

When in doubt about what to do, read the guidelines below – more will follow next week. Reverse rolls in your mind to see how it would feel to be on the receiving end of some of the more insensitive behavior explained below.  These tips are for both men and women.  When both sexes are skilled at dating and social etiquette, everyone has a much better time!

  • Start Out Slow – Plan the first date for coffee or maybe a lunch.  It is so much better to limit your exposure on a first meeting. Agreeing to a dinner can be a very long (and expensive) evening if the person does not meet your expectations.
  • Ping Pong Conversation – The goal of the dating is to get to know each other.  It should be a natural process. It is both people’s responsibility to make the date fun and interesting.  Ask questions, don’t just talk about yourself. “Ping-Pong” – this is how the conversation should go, back and forth. 
  • Eye Contact – It is crucial to maintain strong eye contact, this communicates an interest and confidence.  It’s good etiquette to give your date as much of your attention as possible, especially if you want to see them again. They should feel like they are the only person in the room. Do not use a date as an excuse for general partying or to get a free dinner.
  • Compliment - Always be courteous and complimentary. Your date has made an effort to look nice for you. Compliment how they look, say something specific you like about what they are wearing or a feature that is particularly attractive to you (e.g. “Your eyes are beautiful” or “You are in such great shape”). If they look horrible (and sometimes they do), and you know you will not see them again, don’t lead them on with false compliments. Simply be polite and get out as fast as politely possible.
  • Compliment, Be Careful - Never leer at your date. It's rude, and it demonstrates that your focus is only the other person's physical appearance. This will turn a woman off faster than almost anything else.
  • No Show and Punctuality – Always show up for a date – ON TIME, unless you've given notice and let the other person know you have to cancel. Standing someone up is not acceptable and very rude. It shows disregard for your prospective date by wasting their time neglecting to respect the time they spent preparing for the date.

More to come, stay tuned . . .

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